Thursday, December 1, 2011

Feeling a little left out

I used to dream of the day when I could take a break and read for a few minutes during the day, or when I could clean a bathroom without having to break up three fights, or when my husband and I could watch a TV show together after dinner without 100 interruptions. My oldest kid is 4 and my youngest turns two next week, and that day is here and I must say, it's bittersweet.

The constant, all day, all night need is abating a bit, and I thought it never would. I hoped and longed for this on many an exhausting day, and as glad as I am that it's happening, I am also feeling a bit left out.

All of a sudden, a few weeks ago, my two kids started playing together peacefully. They go in their room and will peacefully, happily, play together for an hour straight. It's AWESOME. I am really starting to be able to get stuff done during the day, while getting anything done used to be an epic struggle. It wasn't that long ago that I had to wear my youngest daughter in a sling in order to mop the floor without her screaming the whole time. I can still acutely remember what a pushing contraction feels like, and they are already starting to need me less.

I mentioned this to my husband the other day, telling him that I swear, lately they only need me for food. He pointed out that not very long ago we were hoping and praying that this day would come, so we could have some time together again and relax a bit. I don't mean to complain, it is awesome. But the other day, I felt like I hardly even talked to them, even though we were home all day, because they happily played together the entire day and didn't want or need me to play with them.

I know they still need a hell of a lot from me, and that their needs will slowly drop off as the years go by. I know that no matter how old and independent they get, they will always need me. That is what I'm trying to focus on while I learn to enjoy being able to clean a room without someone screaming, being able to answer an e-mail in the middle of the day, being able to sneak in a favorite TV show or even some knitting, while the kids are awake!

What the hell am I getting sad about? This ROCKS!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...